Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
