Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize