Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she told me i tasted like america
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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