and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize