what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
