Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
