what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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