so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
