I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
