i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
