I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
