I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
