i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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