Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
