I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
