I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
