Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
