i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
