I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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