why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize