Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize