Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
