i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
