3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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