Your face is a jimmy john
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
