I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize