how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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