Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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