This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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