Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
