Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize