so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
