So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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