when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
