Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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