I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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