ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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