meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
