im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
