out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
