ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
is wine microwaveable?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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