I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
