i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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