Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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