I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I've blown a few things in my day
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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