y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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