so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize