i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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