you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
