I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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