just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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