ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
