if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
