I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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