hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
