i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
