As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize