Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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